A release

May 21, 2007


This past week, a lot of things happened. In flying down the Interstate toward Gillette, Wyoming to help settle up and pay respects to Kerrie’s aunt Dorothy, I found a large number of thoughts bouncing around in my head – thoughts of legacies and remembrance and history.

I had never really considered funerals to be anything but sad affairs, even when the idea of celebration was mentioned. I didn’t see funerals to be celebrations. I couldn’t fathom that concept. I knew one thing – someone had passed away, and that person wasn’t coming back, and what could there possibly be to celebrate?

And then my grandfather died. It wasn’t a celebration. It was a memorial. It was a release. I understood funerals and memorial services more for what they represented. The act is for us, the living, to say goodbye and pass our respects and do what you need to do to begin the grieving process, the always hard quiet moments when things get too weighty to understand.

It came so much more into focus this past week. Here I was, essentially, watching a funeral and helping the grieving from the outside. I wasn’t close to Dorothy – I had only met her twice, once at our wedding and once Christmas 2005. So I could put things into perspective; my eyes were unclouded by sorrow and loss, and while I was sad to see someone go and sorry to hear the stories and memories, I was also free to do the consoling, to not need to be consoled.

What I found is that funerals are one of the most pure feelings of release. Everything is being released – the relationship you had, the physical dependence, the worry and the wonder. And for us, we’re releasing our feelings, letting tears fall from our eyes, blurring our vision, using everything we know to stay together.

We release our stories into the open, releasing our memories into the confines of the funeral home, into the faces staring back at us at the reception hall, into a series of beers, into what seems like a history of long drives and sorrowful trips home. Eventually, even laughter is released.

The dead are then released from this mortal coil, sent off into wherever, free from pain, free from stress and free from every trouble they once had.

In a truly literal sense, they’re free of life. And life, as one of the greatest burdens we will ever face, wrought with decisions and littered with confusion, can be like a stone around the neck. When a life is so riddled with pain, so dependant upon medicine that it ceases to function on its own, it can be a true relief to be free of it.

So with that, we wished Dorothy well. Wherever she goes, she’s free of pain. She’s released from her mortal engagements.

And if that’s not a reason for celebration, I don’t know what is.

Tags: On... |

Comment

A season down the drain

May 19, 2007


And just like that, the season’s over.

Well, it’s over for those of us that enjoy the “new style” of NBA basketball – the style that gave us the best and second-best record in the league, the #1 and #2 MVP candidate and the best underdog/upset story in NBA history. Apparently, it didn’t hold up. Apparently, that fast style is worthless in playoff basketball. It’s too soft. It’s too finesse. It’s destined to be ripped apart, exploited and bullied, pushed around and fired from its job, driven to drink in its old age and forgotten about all together as another generation of Knick/Heat-esque teams push their way into the Finals on the principle of brute force and reputation.

We’ve seen through these playoffs that conniving and wily planning can end up both physically and physiologically at odds with the run and gun style of play. The same style of play that the Phoenix Suns – once Final hopefuls, now sent home in the second round again – had perfected. For those of us watching at home – and I’d bet if you’re not a Spurs fan to begin with, you were rooting for the Suns in this contest – we’ve lost a fun and exciting method of basketball.

It’s gone from this year. Does anyone expect either the Bulls or the Cavs to beat the Pistons? Does anyone think Utah has a chance against the Spurs? Do either of these match-ups matter to anyone outside of their respective cities? Can anyone expect a rip-roarin’ fancy-pants series like Mavs-Suns or Suns-Warriors? With the teams we see in front of us it all seems awfully familiar. Too familiar. Like, 2005 familiar

Last year was a break from the usual. The Mavs – a finesse team – somehow overcame the Spurs. The Heat – a veteran team with a fresh, young leader – overcame the Pistons. A rematch of the 2005 Finals was denied. Now? We’re getting it a year later. It smells a little stale.

It was a forgettable regular season for the NBA. We all looked forward to some great basketball – some exciting fast paced basketball, dependant upon true basketball skill and style. Now, we find ourselves staring down the barrel of another late 90s style brawl, a clunky brand of basketball now perfected by the Spurs, a run-em-down blah-fest led by players that are simply too good to overcome.

As much as I can bitch about the dirty play of the Spurs, I have to offer a little respect. They couldn’t out finesse the Suns. No one could. But they could bully their way into the Western Conference Championships like no other, using a combination of veteran guile and uncaring precision, striking when the Suns were at their weakest and taking advantage of a league that has always awarded physical play over high-tempo craftsmanship.

In the meantime, I’ll be focusing my attention elsewhere. Anywhere. I can’t watch this team again. It’s gotten a little old.

Ladies and Gentleman. It looked like anyone could win the title this year. But now, I present to you your 2006-2007 NBA Champions. The San Antonio Spurs.

Trust me. They’ll do whatever it takes to bludgeon their way like a running bull to the title.

I hope I’m wrong. I really do.

Tags: Basketball, Sports |

2 Comments

Stressin’ out

May 18, 2007


It’s interesting to see how stress manifests itself in different people over different occasions, whether it’s a ball of tight nerves in the pit of the stomach or a throbbing ache behind the shoulder blade; a blinding headache or a fraying of sensibilities usually blamed on a lack of sleep.

It seems like we’ve gone through all of these over the past four days, including tonight. Kerrie’s aunt Dorothy passed away last weekend, and since Wednesday we’ve been trekking across South Dakota, piercing into Gillette, Wyoming, helping empty a house and filling hearts with stories of past times. We’ve celebrated a life and mourned a loss.

And now, with just twelve hours of turnaround, Kerrie is headed away on vacation, one last blitz for woman-kind with her mother and sister, a week-long stay in Kissimmee, Florida. I’ll be here alone. I’ll write more, I promise. I’ve got three days worth of notes and thoughts and other remembrances – both about the memorial service and the drive – and, of course, I’ve got the same old drivel I usually spout off. It’ll be back soon. Just as soon as all of this stress goes away.

People change drastically when put into uncomfortable situations. Whether it’s a protective instinct or a crossed wire in evolutionary development, stress is the downfall of most people, in some way, whether it’s from bad habits or poor coping mechanisms.

It seems like those who live the longest are those who live the most relaxed. Here’s to everyone, in honor of your “ways to relax.” And here’s to finding an end to stress in our lives, to taking things in stride, to realizing that life is life and no one can live it outside of his or her means.

To understanding that some things are out of our control. And others aren’t worth worrying about in the first place.

Tags: On..., Vilhauer |

1 Comment

A DVD fit for a king

May 15, 2007


Becket. Finally on DVD.I fought for it to be released.

I rejoiced when it was announced.

And now, in my posession, one of the greatest DVD releases of all time.

Becket. Nominated for 12 Academy Awards. Revered by O’Toole and Burton fans as one of their best. Placed on a shelf of honor. For a while, anyway.

That’s all. Now if you don’t mind, I’ll be watching King Henry II lambast his best friend. “He’s read books, you know, it’s amazing. He’s drunk and wenched his way through London but he’s thinking all the time!”

-

King Henry II - Am I the strongest or am I not?
Thomas Becket - You are today, but one must never drive one’s enemy to despair; it makes him strong. Gentleness is better politics, it saps virility. A good occupational force must never crush. It must corrupt.

Tags: Movies |

1 Comment

The sweet melody of news

May 14, 2007


Being creative – and somewhat relevant, when you think about it – is difficult on a daily basis. The best ideas and the flashes of brilliance come along only so often. I, for instance, try to write daily on this blog. I find that I’ve left behind the random links and most of the daily blather, and now I just write – about what I’m feeling, about what I’m thinking, about things that interest me. And it’s more difficult. I don’t have easy fall backs. There’s nothing that lends itself to quick, pushed out copy anymore. I’ve set the bar too high for myself.

With that in mind, I find it encouraging reading about Jake Brennen – a Boston native that is writing one hardcore-folk song and video per day, based on the Boston Globe’s headlines.

Granted, he’s got a limitless range of topics – the news is always happening, and his lyrics are practically written for him. But it’s still impressive, a feat requiring spontaneous creativity. He’s doing it for about two weeks – actually, he’ll be finished this Friday. And every day, he’s posting them to the Pop-Ed blog on the Boston Globe website.

It’s a neat idea – an ultra-bare bones attempt to join news and music, to give real time creativity to the overarching themes of our lifetime. Brennen is creating on demand. But he’s also illuminating the news of the day to people who might not even read the news without a “word of mouth buzz marketing” aspect attached. I think it’s a great idea. I wish he’d do it longer.

He doesn’t have free range, apparently. According to Editor and Publisher’s website:

While Beard says the approval process is “pretty rigorous,” he also says that the site is treating Brennan’s music as it would an opinion piece.

“By its name, Pop-Ed, [the feature] allows a certain latitude for the songwriter,” says Beard, who says that he hasn’t made any major changes in Brennan’s music so far. “It’s weird for a print or online editor to say ‘Can you work on that last verse please?’ It’s more about management than about us telling him what to sing about. It’s always going to be Jake’s voice.”

The only real guideline, Beard says, is that that Brennan has been told to focus on stories that are higher up on the homepage, and to take his inspiration largely from local stories.

Still, he’s got an open forum for being creative – to take the words of the day and craft them into something fun and original. And he’s having fun doing it. What a great way to gain exposure, to take the news lightly, to try and challenge yourself to creat something wonderful, and to learn from your mistakes, to throw the bad out and start again.

So when I’m struggling for something to write, maybe I should just look to the headlines.

If only the headlines didn’t drive me crazy. Oh well. There’s always sports.

Tags: Blogging, Journalism, Music |

Comment

Outdoors with Abercrombie

May 13, 2007


Abercrombie and Fitch (c) Wikipedia 2007Abercrombie & Fitch. Hellion of the mall retail circuit, the bratty snob that takes daddy’s convertible to the prom and spends summers in Greece. Finely toned and without a dirty fingernail, A&F is the store all of its ilk longs to be. And, it’s the brand that every other stores wishes serious harm upon, the preppie bully in the room, the star pupil with the great tan. It’s the star quarterback that hasn’t worked a day in its life.

It’s a vast wasteland of expensive clothing geared toward the throes of college students trying to be different by buying the same things every other different-facing college student buys.

In fact, it wasn’t a clothing store at all when it started.

Surprised? Actually, it sold excursion equipment. It was like Cabella’s or Scheel’s. It was an outdoors catalog store.

Maybe you know this. But I didn’t. I equated the Abercrombie & Fitch name with washboard abs that creep up on you from within white, shuddered storefronts, nearly pornographic in its presentation, flaunting the high style and utter coolness from inside its barely negotiable trenches. Or so I’d assume – it looks crowded in there. I’ve never been in one.

So it was to my surprise that, while reading John Steinbeck’s Travels with Charley (1962) this past weekend, I came across the following sentence, just as Steinbeck was coming across a group of female moose:

“Some years ago at Abercrombie & Fitch I bought a cattle caller, an automatic horn manipulated by a lever with which nearly all cow emotions can be imitated, from the sweet lowing of a romantic heifer to the growling roar of a bull in the prime and lust of his bullhood.”

“He found that at Abercrombie & Fitch,” I thought, naively transposing my version – you know, dark and full of college kids, ripped jeans and $45 t-shirts – onto Steinbeck’s remembrance. It makes sense, when you think about it. Abercrombie & Fitch was an outdoors store, after all – one that originally catered to serious, professional outdoors-people.

And it sounded like a pretty cool one. Wikipedia says:

Fitch determined that the store ought to have an outdoor sexy feeling. Stock was not hidden behind glass cabinets. Instead, it was displayed as if in use. He set up a tent and equipped it as if it were out in the middle of the wilds of the Adirondacks. A campfire blazed in one corner, where an experienced guide was always in attendance, imparting valuable information to interested customers.

In the 60s, it faltered. Abercrombie & Fitch went bankrupt, and it was purchased by The Limited in 1988. It was rebuilt as a teen clothing store. And now, it’s loud and obnoxious.

It’s amazing to see what the things we hate may once have been. I don’t particularly like the pompous, overexposed, too-expensive college frat experience that Abercrombie & Fitch currently sells en masse to millions of already self-conscious kids. Even during that time in my life, I couldn’t handle it – the commercial brilliance, the murky glare of trendsetting, the idea that fifty dollars was an okay trade off for a name, for one bare glimpse of an image that, unfortunately, everyone else in the country already has.

But 50 years ago, I probably would have loved Abercrombie & Fitch and its combination of outdoors gadgets and rugged, camp-friendly fashion – a road weary catwalk, complete with tents and compasses.

It just goes to show you what lies deep in the histories of annoyances you take for granted every day.

Tags: Annoyances, Literature |

2 Comments

Camping with the stomach

May 11, 2007


We’re just a few hours from our inaugural camping trip of the summer – a summer that’s sure to be low on camping and high on life-changing-moments-like-having-a-baby. With that in mind, we’re forced to really focus on the fun, the utter relaxation that comes with sending every thought into the open, flying across the lake to drown, and settling into a book, a fishing pole or a kayak.

Well, sure, that’s all great. I’m more concerned about the food.

For Kerrie and I, the best parts of camping boil down to the products we consume – the recipes we’ve hashed together over the past five years, perfected over a fire or tempered over a Coleman grill. We sit, we hike, we float, we read and unwind and write and talk and all of that. Most of all, we eat.

And it’s not like we’re creating out of this world selections. Grilled potatoes and a veggie burger take on a whole new meaning in a campground. A bowl of cereal or a bag of Sun Chips become a wonderful slice of nirvana while sitting in a camp chair. I can’t begin to understand it – the basic becomes brilliant when the outdoors comes into the picture.

So sure, it’s weird that I’m excited for a bag of chips and a grilled salmon filet – almost more excited than getting to finally tackle Travels with Charley or floating aimlessly in circles on a windy lake. It goes to show how powerful the gut can be – how as much as we’d like to think we’re driven by our heart or our head, in all reality our stomach leads the way.

Tags: Outdoors |

Comment

← Previous Page — Next Page →