The sanctity of marriage

October 14, 2008


Now, don’t think I’m some kind of Puritanical Ninny. But I just heard one of the most surprising - and, dare I say, tasteless - advertisements on ESPN radio (on Sirius, the dumping ground for awful :60 spots).

It is for The Ashley Madison Agency.

A dating site.

For people who want to have an affair.

The ad itself isn’t tasteless, per se. (Though, it’s quite ironic that they use Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major as a backing music, given its prominence as a common wedding march selection.) But the fact that this type of site is up and running as a legitimate money maker - and advertising on national radio - raised my eyebrows.

Their motto, naturally, is “LIFE IS SHORT. HAVE AN AFFAIR.™” And there should be no surprise in the fact that, at present (according to their FAQ) there are about 8.5 men for every 1.5 women that sign up on the site.

Amazing.

What kind of person sits down and says, “I have a great idea for a site. How about a dating site, for people who want to cheat on their husband or wife? It will be completely secure, and we’ll help to bolster the egos of numerous deceitful, cheating people who would rather destroy someone else’s life than ‘man (or woman) up’ and admit they’re not happy?”

Sound’s great, bub. Go for it.

I mean, seriously?

Can we put to rest all of the silly talk about how gay unions will ruin the sanctity of marriage - that some antiquated word will somehow be sullied simply through the marriage of two men, or two women? Can we finally appreciate that marriage isn’t just something that is written on paper, that can only include someone from this pile and someone from that one, that the basis should be love, and a lawful respect of a human’s need to be close to someone - anyone - in a time of need, for support, through thick, thin, and all of the rest of the stuff we hear in the standard wedding vows? Can we stop thinking that marriage and relationships and family morals are things that the government should be taking control of - an idea created by the same politicians that fight so hard for government to be held at arms length?

Because really, with a 50% divorce rate (and climbing) and sites like these, is it really the homosexual couples who are ruining the sanctity of marriage?

Tags: Advertising and Marketing, Politics |

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No

October 14, 2008


“No.

No.

No.

No.

No.”

Guess which word Sierra has just learned?

“No.

No.

No.”

She doesn’t know how to use it. Yet. She’s just walking around, saying “No. No. No. No.” Trying it on. Seeing how it feels. Preparing to put it to good use in the future. In the near future, I fear.

“No. No. No.”

Oh, man. Am I ready for this? Am I prepared for the next stage of parenthood - the stage where my daughter takes her already inquisitive mind and starts really figuring out how to become independent?

Am I ready for that word? The word.

No.

Tags: Sierra, Words |

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My five parenting books

October 11, 2008


Cookie magazine, a ultra-yuppie parenting magazine for those who have trouble deciding between Rome and Venice when it comes to a quick weekend getaway, has featured several writers talking about the books that they find most influential or filled with the best advice in regards to parenting.

I liked the idea. So I stole it.

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
by Dave Eggers

I tend to rail on Eggers often, usually when he does goofy things or tries to be too cute. He’s a fantastic writer, though, and while the title to his first real breakout novel is a little too hyperbolic for most, it’s partially true. Well, in one sense, it is completely true it’s heartbreaking, at times. It’s a memoir, of sorts, novelized and made literary, the story of Eggers after being left motherless in his 20s, left to raise his brother, trying to make a life on his own while still serving as a guardian to a much smaller, much more impressionable kid.

And that might be what I most identify with. I’ll admit – there are still times when I assume past enjoyments are off limits, that with Sierra around I can no longer participate in the moving forward of life outside of the home. It’s ridiculous, of course, and I’m reminded of that with AHWOSG; here’s a guy who was able to balance both, though in a way that led to complete anxiety over the added responsibility. I read portions of it now and understand it in a way I never did before.

Housekeeping
by Marilynne Robinson

Housekeeping isn’t my favorite of Robinson’s novels, but it’s the one that had more of an impact, if only through coincidental accompaniment. In the weeks after Sierra was born, I would spend a lot of time rocking her to sleep. Long after she was out, I would continue to rock, back and forth, back and forth, simply holding her and feeling her warmth and weight and being amazed that she was real; a fully conscious part of our lives, not going anywhere any time soon.

Part of it also was that she would wake up if I laid her down. She was a very light sleeper, and I would take careful steps to ensure she was asleep for real.

So I read. A lot. During these nightly vigils, I would employ a touchy, temperamental book light or, on days when that was simply not working, I would leave the door open a crack and read by the light of the hallway. And more than any other book, Housekeeping best represents this period in our life. The dark, haunting story and beautiful characters were only accentuated by reading in this dim state, as if the world was turned down a notch in order to better serve the atmosphere of the prose. And I still remember it, completely, as if I was still reading it, as if I was still holding her and rocking her to sleep.

Savage Inequalities
by Jonathan Kozol

There’s no touching story behind the influence of Savage Inequalities; it’s a book about the declining education system in low-income areas throughout the United States. As a education major and once-licensed teacher, it was required reading for those of us who really thought the position carried with it the ability to change lives, if only given the chance. While I certainly still believe education is important, the Midwestern ideals and politics therein – and my own personal inability to connect with the job – drove me from the profession enough to cast a wary eye in it’s direction.

However, I still feel strongly about how best to tackle problems in education. Higher pay should lead to a higher percentage of potential teachers, then leading to a better pool from which to choose. Better facilities and equipment lead to a more peaceful learning environment. And giving students a chance – truly believing that even the worst kid can turn into something great with the right tools and the right attitude – is essential in creating tomorrow’s leaders.

I think if Savage Inequalities whenever I consider the environment and the tools we give Sierra. The life we help provide has just as much bearing on her future personality and success as her own innate feelings and characteristics. Above everything, it would be unfair to her if we, as loving parents who want the world for her, thought otherwise.

The Little Prince
by Antoine de Saint Exupéry

There’s not a lot to say about The Little Prince that sums up it’s importance better than, “We read this to her before she was born.”

From my What I’ve Been Reading post, May 2007:

I finished a second book this past month,– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s The Little Prince. I didn’t just read it to myself. I read it out loud, to Kerrie. And, additionally, to little Baby Vilhauer. It, technically, is the first book that Baby Vilhauer has ever been exposed to, through my voice, through the womb. And even without that emotional tie, The Little Prince is easily the best book I read this month. It’s touching and filled with life lessons. And, it’s brilliantly written, easy enough for a young person, complex and thoughtful enough for even the most hardened cynic.

A children’s book that actually taught me something. How wonderful is that?

“People Like That Are the Only People Here: Canonical Babblings in Peed Onk”
by Lorrie Moore

Once you’ve become a parent – once you’ve laid eyes on your first child, held her, mentally prepared for her future and lined up all of the stars in order to give her the best chance at life – you become aware of a nagging feeling of uncertainty. Of what you would do in the event that your child becomes sick, goes through a time of crisis and spends an extended time at the hospital, leaving you unsure whether or not you’ll lose her. It frightens me. I hear stories of children with cancer and I simply can’t imagine how something similar would tear my heart apart, how I would be ill-equipped to continue after losing something so precious, something I’ve learned to love without abandon.

Lorrie Moore’s story about a parent dealing with the oddities and complexities of the pediatric oncology department is both heartwarming and frightening – heartwarming in that it’s funny and optimistic and, in the end, a happy story; frightening in that it’s about children with cancer, one of the most tragic subjects I can think of. I think of this story often. I can’t help it. It both shapes my fear and my optimism. And, it’s beautiful. It’s a great story, even without the context of children.

Tags: Books, Literature, Sierra |

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6-year-olds playing soccer

October 10, 2008


The press is 6-year-olds playing soccer; nobody has a position, it’s just “Where’s the ball? Where’s the ball? Sarah Palin has the ball!” [Mimes a mob running after her.] Because they can only cover one thing.

-Jon Stewart

Maybe this is old news. But this interview with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, from an Entertainment Weekly I may or may not have stolen from the fitness center, is a must read. For the soccer metaphor alone.

That is all.

Tags: Journalism, Politics |

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Missing change

October 10, 2008


Missing.

One Obama sign.

Lost since between 2-5pm, October 10th, 2008.

If found, please return.

Seriously. This afternoon, after a nice family trip to the Apple Orchard, we returned home to find our Obama sign missing. The space between the Bill Thompson sign and the Susy Blake sign, where our Obama sign once stood, is now empty.

At first I was upset. This was the second time an Obama sign had been taken (the first time we brushed off since, after all, we had two of them in our yard). I was ready to yell at them kids to get off’n our yard!

Then I looked down the block. I turned and looked down another. Kerrie hopped on her bike and took a swing around the neighborhood.

They are all gone.

All of the Obama signs in our little area west of McKennan park. Gone.

All (two) of the McCain stands still remain, as do all of the state house and senate candidates. But the Obama signs, of which there were several, are all gone.

Is this just a bunch of kids walking home from school at Patrick Henry Middle School thinking they’re putting us on?

Or is this a really desperate move by some McCain backer?

Who knows. All I know is that my Obama sign is gone.

And surprisingly, I don’t think it’s going to change much.

Tags: Annoyances, Politics, Sioux Falls |

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The Walker Library

October 8, 2008


from Wired Magazine onlineDeane alerted me to the coolest personal library in the world, but I haven’t had time to comment on it.

Now I do.

Holy moley, cacciatore. This is sweet.

It’s Jay Walker’s personal library. Walker, a dot-com boom and bust and apparent boom again, is filthy rich, from the looks of it. And he has transferred his wealth into the type of library that I think I’d create if I was, you know, filthy rich. One filled with great books. Artifacts. History. Legend. Wonder. Amazement.

Yeah. That’s a back-up Sputnik satellite. Yup. You are looking at the original prosthetic hand that played the part of Thing on The Addams Family. No, you can’t touch anything.

It’s a collection of ideas, in a sense. Walker didn’t set out to create a Very Expensive Library – he simply wanted to use his generous wealth to create a shrine to the ever-changing “great idea.” A quote from the Wired article illustrates this point perfectly:

Walker shuns the sort of bibliomania that covets first editions for their own sake—many of the volumes that decorate the library’s walls are leather-bound Franklin Press reprints. What gets him excited are things that changed the way people think, like Robert Hooke’s Micrographia. Published in 1665, it was the first book to contain illustrations made possible by the microscope. He’s also drawn to objects that embody a revelatory (or just plain weird) train of thought. “I get offered things that collectors don’t,” he says. “Nobody else would want a book on dwarfs, with pages beautifully hand-painted in silver and gold, but for me that makes perfect sense.”

What would I do in this library? What could I do? Aside from slide around on a puddle of drool created by my ever-gaping mouth?

The question I have is simple: “Where do I go first?”

From the article alone, I garnered these must see sites:

• A framed napkin from FDR outlining his plan to win World War II. I don’t need to tell you the cultural significance of this piece of history, a ridiculously behind-the-scenes artifact that should be locked up in one of the Smithsonian buildings. (I can hear my inner Dr. Jones coming out already; “That belongs in a museum!”)

• Bills of Mortality chronicle of London from 1665. Recount a weekly tally of plague victims during one of the world’s most horrific and interesting periods. It’s one of those books that you’d be afraid to touch, lest you contract some rare, immortal strain of plague.

• An original Nuremberg Chronicle (1493). The only thing cooler would be to see an original Bede, but I guess this will have to do – the most lavishly illustrated book of its time and one of the best examples of Renaissance-era history. Imagine – this is a book that is just one year younger than 1492, a date that has forever been etched into our minds as “A Very Old Date.” This is printing archaeology. Bibliophiles would have to hide their arousal.

• A raptor skeleton. You heard me. F’n dinosaur bones in your f’n library.

I’m smitten.

(via Deane on twitter, and again on Gadgetopia)

Tags: Books, Literature, Science |

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Steinbeck on Steroids - 10.06.08

October 6, 2008


Every week during the NFL football season, Drew Magary of Deadspin presents his Jamberoo, an article chock full of hilarious obscenity and 4th grade fart jokes.

My favorite feature of this weekly column is the “Pregame Song That Makes Me Want To Run Through A Goddamn Brick Wall,” where he naturally pulls from his extensive collection of rock to give us a little insight as to what music you might want to listen to in the event you needed to, well, hype yourself up. For a game, you know.

Or, in my case, for a bi-weekly session at the gym.

I’ve fallen off of my routine, sure. This is harder than it looks. But I know one thing - if there was ever a band that made me want to run through a goddamn brick wall, it would be Hot Water Music. Thankfully, I chose the “Punk” genre on Steinbeck the iPod - a genre that’s actually pretty thin outside of several Hot Water Music and Alkaline Trio albums - and was able to get myself into the workout mode.

Today’s list:
“Olympia, WA” - Rancid
“Nameless (live)” - Avail
“Wild in the Streets” - Hot Water Music
“Oyster” - Jawbreaker

Wait. A quick aside. I know Jawbreaker could be considered punk. But this album? It belongs in indie, or even the dreaded emo. This is not Jawbreaker’s punk album. I love the stuff, but I about fell asleep on the treadmill.

“We Laugh At Danger and Break All the Rules” - Against Me!
“Alachua (live)” - Hot Water Music
“This is Getting Over You” - Alkaline Trio
“Not For Anyone” - Hot Water Music
“8 Full Hours of Sleep - Against Me!
“(Ben)” - Avail

(Not even a real song. Doesn’t count.)

“Alive or Dead” - The Draft

End of workout. See you Wednesday. That is, if I can manage to get to the fitness center within another two weeks.

Tags: Music, Steinbeck on Random |

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