I lie to my kids, every Christmastime, because I’m supposed to

December 29th, 2011

Santa isn’t real, but don’t tell my kids. They still believe in him, like the little fools they are.

That sounds harsh, and it is. But that’s how it feels when, willingly, I continue to convince my kids that the presents they got for Christmas came from some dude that broke into their house, some guy that was initially set up as a representation of sainthood – Saint Nicholas! – and has morphed into a ninja-like spectre of gift-giving.

Saint Nicholas of Myra gave gifts to the poor, devoted his life to his religion, and became the patron saint of children, sailors and the local pawn shop. St. Nicholas of the Netherlands is a character of folklore. In Germany, St. Nicholas is an approximation of Odin, a god in human clothing not unlike Jesus himself. These stories have been twisted, adapted and changed from their original celebration of giving, to the point that Santa has become a THING; no longer a representation of charity, Santa is now How We Get Presents.

We all know that. But my kids don’t. My kids don’t understand that Santa represents an abstract thought, just as they don’t understand that Dora the Explorer represents growth through following directions and learning language. There’s one difference, though: my kids don’t think Dora the Explorer is a real person.

So we lie to our kids for tradition’s sake. There’s nothing that we’ve given to our children that we haven’t want to claim ourselves, but there’s this unspoken rule that, yes, THIS gift is from Santa. Yes, that Santa. Yeah. The fat guy who ate the cookies.

It’s so ingrained that we don’t feel icky about it. But this year, I did. I felt downright AWFUL about pretending there was a Santa, that I took advantage of our four-year-old’s trust and our two-year-old’s naivety by keeping the charade up. I hated it. But I did it. And I’m questioning whether I do it again.

If you were raised in a typical Christian-based house as a kid, you remember the time you found out Santa wasn’t real. You remember it because it was one of the first times you realized your parents lie. That they’d lied to your face, for years, about the person who brought the gifts. You either accepted it for what it was, or you were sad and Christmas was ruined for the year, but one thing always remained: you wondered what else your parents lied about.

What else is simply a facade? What else should I question, refuse to trust, and all of that Rage Against the Machine worry.

Dramatic, yes. But Kerrie and I have made a point not to lie about things to our children. Outside of occasional lies of omission, we’ve done a decent job – as decent job as one can with two inquisitive whippersnappers wandering around.

But SANTA. Oh. Santa, Santa, Santa.

Next year? I hope Santa has gone away.


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Issues Considered: Isaac, On..., Sierra

Favorite Music of 2011: Another Series of Lists

December 16th, 2011

More lists, just like last year’s lists.  Again: these are not in order, just in the order I typed them.

Favorite Albums from 2011

  • The Decemberists – The King is Dead
  • Doomtree – No Kings
  • The Antlers – Burst Apart
  • Jay-Z/Kanye West – Watch the Throne
  • R.E.M. – Collapse Into Now
  • tUnE-YarDs – w h o k i l l
  • Bon Iver – Bon Iver
  • The Mountain Goats – All Eternals Deck
  • Damn Your Eyes – Damn Your Eyes
  • Fucked Up – David Comes to Life

Favorite Album from 2010 that would have topped my list if it had come out in 2011 and not December 2010

  • Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Favorite Albums from before 2011 that I didn’t pay attention to until 2011 (Non-Kanye Edition)

  • Titus Andronicus – The Monitor
  • Michael Jackson – Thriller
  • The Long Winters – Putting the Days to Bed
  • Ween – Live at Somerville Theater 1997 bootleg
  • Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross – The Social Network Soundtrack

Favorite Vinyl Purchased in 2011

  • Braid – Frame and Canvas
  • Bob Dylan - Blood on the Tracks
  • R.E.M. – Life’s Rich Pageant
  • Refused – The Shape of Punk to Come
  • Split Lip – Fate’s Got a Driver
  • Pixies – Doolittle
  • Texas is the Reason/Promise Ring – split 7″
  • Jim Croce – Greatest Hits

Favorite Albums from 1997

(As listed in my remembrance of the year in music, 1997)

  • Modest Mouse – The Lonesome Crowded West
  • Promise Ring – Nothing Feels Good
  • Built to Spill – Perfect From Now On
  • Get Up Kids – Four Minute Mile
  • Guilt – Further
  • Ben Folds Five – Whatever and Ever Amen
  • Ween – The Mollusk
  • Snapcase – Progression Through Unlearning
  • Floodplain – Eightpennygalvinized
  • Radiohead – OK Computer

Favorite Hardcore Punk Albums

(As listened to during my hardcore punk renaissance this past summer)

  • By the Grace of God – For the Love of Indie Rock
  • Snapcase – Progression Through Unlearning
  • Quicksand – Manic Compression
  • 108 – Songs of Separation
  • Refused – The Shape of Punk to Come

Most Disappointing Album of 2011

  • Braid – Closer to Closed EP

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Issues Considered: Music, The Top...

Chemistry and burritos, via Kevin Garnett

December 13th, 2011

Any questions about how excited I am to have basketball back should be summed up by this well-said quote from Kevin Garnett:

From Paul Flannery’s Twitter Feed:

“Chemistry is something that you don’t just throw in a frying pan and mix it up with another something and throw something on top of that and then fry it up and put in a tortilla and put it in microwave, heat it up, give it to you and expect it to taste good.

You know?

If y’all don’t know what I’m talking about then you can’t cook and this doesn’t concern you.”

I know. Exactly. EXACTLY.

I can’t WAIT until TNT hires KG after he retires. YOU’RE ON NOTICE, SHAQ.


Comments: 2

Issues Considered: Basketball, Boston Celtics

“A Content Methodology” for Contents Magazine

December 7th, 2011

If you’re into nerdy things like work methodologies and the nature of the content industry, you’d TOTALLY be into the article I wrote for Contents Magazine, a publication about all things content.

From “A Content Methodology Primer”:

It’s romantic to think that content work is an art, all brandy, pipes, and wood grain. But it’s not. It’s a process. A messy, sticky, multi-disciplinary process that begs for structure, consistency, and guidance.

That’s a daunting task. Content wants to be messy. It wants to roll around in the mud. It wants to be gross. Our job is to pull it together—to take the guesswork out of creating and curating it—and to treat content work as something closer to a science.

And, if you’re NOT into that, you might enjoy this video of a mullet/mustache combo whistling “Georgia on My Mind.”


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Issues Considered: Content Strategy, Writing

The Internet as a subset of the humanities

December 6th, 2011

By definition, the humanities are a set of academic disciplines dedicated to studying the human condition. They include the entire span of human creation – language, history, literature, art, technology, and everything else that fits under the guise of humanity. Law and its consequences. Anthropology. Self-reflection. It’s a broad scope.

In practicality, however, the humanities – as laid out by the National Endowment for the Humanities – make up the non-visual-art side of human thought. Literature and history, civics and government; the furtherance of society is built upon knowledge of the humanities. The mistakes of our forefathers and the insight of our peers, each mind creating a web of culture that guides us and keeps us interesting.

Nowhere, however, in the NEH’s definition is mention of technology and, more so, the culture of the Internet. Isn’t it time for that to change?

“Internet” and “Web” appear often, don’t get me wrong. They are used as a medium; often, they are simply nothing more than a method for distribution. Books are scanned and stored thanks to the Web, newsletters and meetings are set up over the Internet. Web culture is non-existant; instead, we see the culture of technology pushed to the side to make room for its tools, like buying an IKEA shelf for the allen wrench.

But there’s magic in that shelf. There’s more forward thinking civic dialogue, literature and true change being cultivated via the Internet than any traditional medium combined – a dialogue that consists not only of what we’re used to (Writing! Critique! Government!) but what we’re still discovering.

The web is more than a tool for cultural change – it is culture change ITSELF.

Full disclosure: I’m fortunate enough to serve on the South Dakota Humanities Council. What was once a council built on a history of retired professors and state authors has become younger, more in tune with technology and its tools. We’re slowly taking the next step, no longer content to rely only on the tools of technology, but with technology itself. The future holds discussions about what it means to be a South Dakotan today, in today’s terms, with today’s problems and today’s new ways of telling stories.

Your local humanities council is probably doing the same thing. But, unfortunately, those efforts often go unnoticed. Slashed budgets, public indifference and a multitude of distractions keep humanities councils – who are charged with protecting and celebrating the humanities in all of its forms – under the radar. So while we’re making changes, humanities boards are still struggling to move past the traditional author/scholar makeup and push into the future. Into considering web culture and content as important as novels about buffalo.

The representation of modern Internet culture is lacking. Where are you? Will you help?

If you read, you support the humanities. If you blog, you support the humanities. If you create web sites, or if you design beautiful products, or if you edit things, or if you take part in the consumption or creation of anything whatsoever on the Internet or via physical medium, you support the humanities. You support the process and history of technology, and you support the changing landscape of creative thought.

I, as a full-fledged member of an NEH-supported council board, thank you. And now, I challenge you to remember that the humanities are invaluable. They shape the fabric of our culture, and they deserve not just support, but complete appreciation and participation.

Regardless of the number of books you’ve written, or the number of Master’s dissertations you’ve given, or the number of historical texts you’ve memorized, the humanities are current. But it will take work to get them there – to stop looking to the past and begin pushing today’s agenda. Because the humanities aren’t just dusty books and the Venerable Bede.

The humanities are you.


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Issues Considered: Humanities, Literature, Writers

I am a Celtic

December 2nd, 2011

Hey, so, you guys, did you know that the NBA season is starting on Christmas this year, and there are five games, and I will watch them all even if I have to go to the bar and steal cable, and oh yeah there’s also a new set of NBA commercials.

No Hollywood. No South Beach. Sorry, y’all. This is the last shot for this C’s team. You’re stuck with them – and me – for the next seven months.

(I hope.)


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Issues Considered: Random

The Impossibles, “Enter/Return” – 6.1.2002

December 1st, 2011

For one summer, The Impossibles’ Return was my return to punk rock. As much of a return as I could claim, I suppose – I was never more than an EpiFat punk rocker to begin with.

It was a huge part of my soundtrack over the summer of 2000, which means it was part of my soundtrack in England that year, and it was a huge part of my soundtrack while working my first “management” job as Assistant Assistant Manager of the Sioux Falls Software Etc.

It’s still one of my favorite albums, and it’s funny how it never should have even registered with me. The Impossibles were a ska-punk band. They were like MU330 and Skankin’ Pickle – better, yes, but still all upbeat strumming and jumping around the stage. I had long since phased out of ska, and took a new Impossibles album to be Yet Another Ska Album.

But it wasn’t. It was fantastic. It was future punk. It sounded like what a new Weezer album might sound like at the time (this was before the Green Album) and people would ask at Software Etc., “Is this a new Weezer album?”

It was fantastic. They took a huge chance, updated their sound, and wrote a very fun album.

It turns out, The Impossibles best album would be their last. Fans didn’t like the change, didn’t like the lack of ska, didn’t like the fact that their favorite band could evolve, didn’t like the idea that they may have to stop pulling for the past and evolve on their own.

Disappointed with the lack of reaction, The Impossibles broke up. They figured they had something better to do. Something that might be appreciated. Maybe one, maybe both.

Good for them.


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Issues Considered: Music, Music Video