Category: Annoyances

Q: When does “Delete” not mean “Delete?” A: MySpace, circa 2007

January 5th, 2011

I deleted my MySpace account in 2007. I remember doing it. I remember all of the steps – the ones that said “OMG YOU’LL NEVER SEE THIS AGAIN” and the ones that said “ARE YOU TOTALLY TOTALLY SURE?” and even the one where I clicked the old URL and double and triple checked that it was gone: that nothing showed up outside of a 404 message and a gentle suggestion that “Hey, I should probably sign up for MySpace!”

It wasn’t that I hated MySpace, it was just that I didn’t use it. It was stagnant. I didn’t need it out there floating around, collecting sparkly badges and developing an identity of its own.

So I deleted it. In 2007.

A little over three years later, it’s back. Apparently.

MySpace
Real, live footage of a deleted account that is no longer deleted.

What happened?

I’m going to assume it’s an oversight. I’m deleting it again, naturally. Because I didn’t want it in 2007, and one would assume that means I don’t want it now.

But it makes me laugh – a bitter, angry, spiteful laugh, mind you – to see this message as I attempt to delete the account for what will now be the SECOND time.

Delete

Yeah, I know, MySpace.

That’s what they told me LAST time.


Comments: 1

Issues Considered: Annoyances, Technology, Vilhauer

Y2KX Bug

January 3rd, 2011

From The New York Times:

Pat Kiernan, a morning anchor on NY1, the New York City cable news channel, is no stranger to alarm clock problems. That’s why he usually relies on several clocks, phones and other devices to wake him in time for his early newscasts.

That redundancy paid off for Mr. Kiernan on Saturday when his primary alarm, the one built into his Apple iPhone, failed to go off because of a programming error in the phone’s calendar software.

“Before I went to bed I set two iPhone alarms, and both completely failed to go off,” said Mr. Kiernan, adding that he uses the iPhone as his alarm clock when he travels. “Luckily I had an Android phone with me as a third backup alarm, and it woke me up in time for my news segment.”

You know, I’m late to the party with this whole iPhone alarm thing, and I think it’s simply horrible that all of those alarms failed to go off and all of those people arrived at work late and all of those very important timelines were shifted but, let’s be honest here. I have to get this off of my chest.

I can’t be the only person who looks at this story and says, “Are you serious?”

“This many people were affected by a faulty cell phone alarm clock? Don’t people buy REAL alarm clocks anymore?”

Kids these days, AMIRITE, with their baggy pants and their wireless phone alarms and their POT, all hopped up on THE GOOFBALLS.


Comments: 2

Issues Considered: Annoyances, Technology

Why I don’t use GoDaddy

November 25th, 2010

Disclaimer: This is in no way a knock against anyone who uses GoDaddy.

That being said, I don’t use GoDaddy. I refuse. I hate them. I think they’re a bunch of turds.

It isn’t because they’ve been universally reviled for having poor customer service. It isn’t because they’re the monolith throwing a shadow over the rest of the domain accrual industry. It isn’t because their marketing efforts are insulting to women.

It’s because their marketing efforts are insulting to MEN.

It’s because their ads and their brand and their entire being is based on this Neolithic idea that men will follow the breasts and the sex jokes and the thinly veiled innuendo when, in fact, Web practitioners and professional marketers are, for the most part, smarter than that.

We stopped laughing at boobie jokes at least two decades ago. But GoDaddy is convinced we’re all middle school morons.

And we’re supposed to be attracted to this?

We’re in a generation of thought-laden careers and carefully crafted personal brands. And whether or not you believe in that kind of crap, you have to understand that, let’s be honest, it’s not in our interest to drag our knuckles and giggle about butts. Yet, here we have the leading domain handler – with over 50% of the market – writing television scripts based on bare breasts and assuming that, without a doubt, all men will be led to remember GoDaddy fondly.

The truth is, it’s insulting. To me. Yes, it’s insulting to my wife and to my daughter and to my women friends and to any friend, really. But more than that, it’s insulting to me.

They lead the market not because they pander to the lowest common denominator, but because they’re the only outfit that sees any need to advertise on a major scale.

Imagine how they’d do if they stopped acting like 7th graders and started explaining why we should go with them in the first place.

Common sense, amirite? Talk about a special brand of insult.

And that’s why I don’t buy domains through GoDaddy.


Comments: 3

Issues Considered: Annoyances, Technology

Insert metaphor here

October 11th, 2010

We just put a new bed in our bedroom.

It’s huge. Too big for the room, by far. It’s one of those beds that’s built out of logs, capturing the rustic look of high-class Wyoming culture, and it was handed down to us by my grandmother, making it a true heirloom.

I’m thrilled to have it. It’s beautiful. But I’m not used to it yet.

In the three days we’ve put it together, I’ve slammed my knee into the corner bed post six times. I look at the bed, I gauge my distance, I turn the corner, and without fail I STILL slam into it. It’s really not fair. The new bed is better in nearly every way, but I still curse it twice a day.

There’s a metaphor for change in there somewhere. You guys figure it out. I’m too busy icing my knee.


Comments: 2

Issues Considered: Annoyances, On...

Your mission? Keep it to yourself.

October 6th, 2010

“…And we’d like to put our mission statement on the home page.”

No.

No, you wouldn’t.

Your mission statement is for you. It’s for your board of directors, your senior vice presidents, your employees, your partners, your backers. It’s for your company, and your company alone.

Your mission is not for your customers. Your mission is not for your customers because your goal IS NOT TO GET YOUR CUSTOMERS TO DO YOUR WORK FOR YOU.

I don’t hate mission statements. I’ve written them. I believe in a few. I understand their place in corporate culture.

A mission statement is a framework for a company’s spirit. It’s a line or two upon which a company can balance new endeavors. Some of those new endeavors won’t stick, and that’s the point – a mission statement helps filter out the ideas that are off-brand and unnecessary. A mission statement rallies your employees and drives internal brainstorming and carves out a niche.

It’s a statement of future work.

For the most part, your audience doesn’t want methods and statements. They want answers. How will this product/service/widget affect them?

Your mission statement is not for your packaging. It’s not for your brochures and it sure as hell isn’t for your Web site.

It’s for you.

Don’t throw it on the backs of your audience.


Comments: 2

Issues Considered: Annoyances, Content Strategy, Marketing, Words

How not to present a panel on “Reading in the Digital Age.”

September 27th, 2010

Let’s take two men on opposing sides of an issue and throw them in front of an audience of casual spectators. Let’s give them what is somewhat of a hot-button issue, at least at this event. Let’s say the event is a book festival. Let’s say the issue is the increasing market share of e-readers and what it means to the landscape of literature, publishing and reading itself.

Let’s say one of these guys is Michael Hart, founder of Project Gutenberg, an organization that seeks through the e-book format to make accessible all of the world’s greatest works, including some that – with permission – are still in copyright. While we’re at it, let’s go ahead and say the other guy is Michael Dirda, a Fullbright Fellowship recipient and Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post book critic.

(Let’s also say Marilyn Johnson, author and library stalwart, is there, representing the middle ground but unable to get a word in edgewise.)

Now, let’s sit back and wait for an answer we’ll never get.

Because neither of these men is interested in bridging the gap between the promise and accessibility of ebooks and the tangible joy and art of physical binding. Neither of these men is interested in discussing how Project Gutenberg offers limitless preservation of what used to be the fragile and time-consuming practice of book collecting, and neither is interested in discussing how a mix of both physical and e-books helps people rediscover the joys of reading.

Instead, both men want a pissing match.

E-books are awful, a slap in the face of literature, and you water down the process of literary experience by missing out on the feel and texture of the book itself.

Physical books are pointless, archaic, space-hogging and inefficient, and everyone should read books electronically because you can fit 30,000 on one disc.

It’s one or the other. Love it or leave it. If you’re not with ‘em, you’re against ‘em.

Now, let’s vent. Because after seeing the previous example, live, in person, at the Sioux Falls Orpheum, in front of hundreds of interested people attending the South Dakota Festival of Books, I came away feeling disgusted and disappointed, frustrated that the promise of what could have been a great discussion turned out to be a symposium on Michael Hart’s inability to look behind his own project and Michael Dirda’s weak attempts at playing the same game.

The real issue is how we use e-books to further literature and adapt with the times, understanding that even ancient scrolls were pushed out by the more efficient book format, and that was thousands of years ago. Books will never go away – Dirda’s point on the art and tangible feeling that comes with reading a physical book is right on – but we can’t be naive in thinking it’s the only way to read.

Not when so many people are living without access to physical books. Not when you can provide a book in seconds to a willing audience. And especially not when there is already a drop in literacy rates and willingness to let books OF ALL TYPES fall by the wayside.

Traditional books and their texture? They mean nothing unless someone reads them.

30,000 books on a disc, for free? THEY ALSO MEAN NOTHING UNLESS SOMEONE READS THEM.

Let’s pretend that the two sides sat down and discussed the future of reading. The future of publishing. The future of literature and writing and everything that goes along with it, because, let’s face it, the future of reading is also the future of education and the future of our countries and the future of the world.

Let’s pretend the only agenda brought into this panel was one of collaboration and innovation.

Don’t I wish that was the case.


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Issues Considered: Annoyances, Books, Journalism, Literature, Sioux Falls, Writers, Writing

The slowest basement recovery ever

September 20th, 2010

There are times I give our city government the benefit of the doubt that they know what they’re talking about – that they understand the weight of a small disaster like, say, for example, a basement flooding.

Then, other times, I get this.

Kerrie linked me to this, straight from the Sioux Falls “Falls Community Health” site.

That's a very small bucket.

OMG LOOKIT! HOW CUTE IS THAT LITTLE BUCKET? *SWOON*

I have news for you, City of Sioux Falls. That little bucket? PROBABLY not going to help.


Comments: 1

Issues Considered: Annoyances, Sioux Falls